Ghouls , Goblins, Grand Master Flash and the Wheels of Steel

The date was October 30th, the venue Poldark Mine, Helston, Cornwall. As I write this from my wifi cafe based location the strange boat dwelling german couple sitting in front of me can feel the dread in the air. It was a night of terror, of strange apparitions and Word Up by Cameo on the jukebox.

The tour began with an overview of mining in the UK since the bronze age (most of which was inaccurate but good for visitors to listen too) by our mine guide. Once we had listened to this and the necessary health and safety information – apparently drinking heavy metal rich water dripping down from the mine walls is bad for you – we were introduced to John, leader of the Most Ghost investigation team . John was the type of ghost hunter that could solve your plumbing, as well as poltergeist needs. The type of man that was not only the fonze of the paranormal community but also the preserve of bored housewives who, live a harem  of UK Living watching wives, flocked around him like a moth to light and hung on his every word like he was casanova. A casanova who, I’m sure dear reader, drove a Bedford Rascal that had painting and decorating equipment in the back.

According to John, Poldark Mine is a hive of ectoplasmic activity. Orbs come at you from every angle and even the ghost dog still lets you feel its bite. There were stories of Brenda, the lady who felt something when John was standing next to her in the dark, and Pauline – the woman who had a fit in the area where the Vortex was located. Most terrifying of all was the tale of the ghost who did not know he was dead and was still disgruntled by the fact he had to pay taxes because of this minor detail. Additional tales of miner’s exploding in boy’s faces, as well as other accounts of ghostly spontaneous combustion, sent shivers down the spine. So much so that such an emotionally draining event required a short stay in the bar afterwards.

Dont Stand Too Close To The Vortex, You'll Never Get It Out Of The Carpet

All in all I would recommend a ghost tour to anyone – believer and sceptic alike. They are good fun and more often than not led by good people. Even if they are one PKE Meter short of a Proton Pack.

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